Weekend Writing Warriors – Restoration #11

Welcome to another snippets. I hope you will enjoy this week’s selection which is but a part of the greater whole. The idea is to present the entire short story to you 8 – 10 sentences at a time.

This link will take you to the Weekend Writing Warriors home page where you can check

out snippets from other writers.

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Demeas rose and walked to the window. It faced east and the sun had already risen to well above the nearby hillside, its rays striking Demeas’s face. Its warmth did not melt the disappointment he had for Barak.

“I understand why the Alaythayans began. They wanted to preserve the truth that they thought we were neglecting.”

“We have made many mistakes in the past three thousand or so years, Demeas. We still do. I think back, not long ago, when we were overzealous in our judgments and unwilling to compromise when those judgments were questioned. Many wrongs were committed as a result.”

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Join me next time for another snippet.

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About John Van Vliet

Author of the soon to be released "The H'Rhophyan Chronicles", a Fantasy Adventure Serial.
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3 Responses to Weekend Writing Warriors – Restoration #11

  1. Great snippet, very moving. Can’t wait to read more!

  2. This is really easy to picture. I’m not sure who made the comment in the last paragraph, but I’m supposing that’s clear in the full scene.

    One suggestion, if you don’t mind? The second mention of Demeas’ name could be changed to “his” because it’s clear who you mean. As I critique people in my local group and online, I see a lot of people overusing character names and I think it really adds unnecessary blips.

    But that’s a small criticism. I like how clear your writing is. 🙂

  3. Self knowledge, even belated, is a good thing! I agree with the other commenter that I was confused as to who was speaking at the end, but I’m sure it’s clear in the full text. Excellent excerpt – this world feels so very real.

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